Of Scarecrows, Politics And Chicken-dogs


I’m one of those people who, while having definite political views, doesn’t like to be pigeonholed into one group or another. That’s why I’m registered as an independent. It’s the only way to get out of declaring a party in Iowa. I also have a certain distain for the political system. I can’t stand the junk mail, phone calls and TV ads that deluge us around election time. I especially hate it when they beg for money from us little people when they’re getting plenty of donations from corporations, but they think nothing of taxing us little people to death. Like Travis Tritt said, “Those politicians treat me like a mushroom, they feed me bull and keep me in the blind.”

So I decided, this year, to employ a little creative evil genius and show my disrespect for politicians while at the same time decorating my yard for Halloween. I build two scarecrows and hung them in the front yard, and placed a large pumpkin between them that I had painted with a goofy face. The scarecrow on the left has a Frankenstein face, is dressed as a hippie, and has a sign in front of him that says “Kerry”. The scarecrow on the right has a bulgy-eyed monster face, is dressed in Air Force overalls, and has a sign in front of him that says “Bush”. The pumpkin with the goofy face has a sign behind him that says “Nader”. I have yet to hang the banner that says “Scary, Ain’t It?” out front of them. I need to get it laminated first.

After the scarecrows were mounted on their posts, I decided to see what my dog would do when he saw them. So I put a leash on him and took him out to the front yard. I could NOT drag that dog anywhere near those scarecrows! He growled at them, and all the hair stood up on his back, then he started barking at them but he wouldn’t approach them. My big, 105 pound black lab – rottweiler mix dog is a chicken. If he’d have sprouted feathers I wouldn’t have been surprised. But then again, labs were bred to be bird dogs. (HA!)

So anyway, now my Halloween-election year display is almost complete. I’ve already had a few laughs over it (which was the idea all along) and my Mom said it’ll probably be on the TV news (which would be nice, but I doubt they’ll come out to my small town) and I have an idea for next year’s display. I’ll dress up one of the scarecrows as a ferryman, put him on a raft, and tie Moose Mutt next to him with a sign that says “Entrance to the River Styx. Beware of Cerberus!”

Like anyone has anything to beware of, the big chicken.


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