An Out-Of-Sync Female, Revisited


I’ve had several responses of various sorts from people who read my “Confessions of an out of sync female” blog, and I think I need to clarify a few things:

To be honest, I’m not saying I don’t have a feminine side. What I’m saying is that I lean more toward my tomboyish side than my ladylike side. That bothers me a little (a very little) because sometimes I think that I should be more ladylike and less tomboyish. (Maybe then the checkout clerk at Menard’s wouldn’t call me “sir” anymore.) But then, as I said, I wouldn’t be the practical me that I am. Case in point – a friend, who I consider to be much more “female” than myself, said that I was no less “female” than she was, and why did I think that? I said, “What’s in your purse? Let’s compare purse contents.” So we opened our purses. She had a wallet (with the usual contents) and so did I. She had her “tool kit” – a small makeup bag with a compact, lipstick, and a couple other things, and I had mine – a tape measure, multi-purpose tool, pocket knife and a roll of black electrical tape. She had a tube of Mary Kay hand lotion, I had a tube of 1% hydorcortisone lotion from Wal-Mart. She had a bottle of Tylenol, and so did I. The stuff in her purse was stuffed in haphazardly, and she had to dig around to find stuff, and she was amazed that my purse’s contents were sorted into plastic, sectioned containers. (She obviously had forgotten about my blog on November 3rd, 2004.) So I asked her, “Which purse seems more ladylike to you?” and she said “Mine” and I said “Case closed”. Then she said, “But you paint such pretty things” and I said, “Well, so do lots of guys, especially woodworkers. They have to make what they build sellable, so they stain or paint their products and add decorative embellishments.” By now my poor friend was getting a little frustrated, so she said, “But you can cook. I’ve eaten your food at potlucks.” True, I told her, I can cook well enough to keep my family fed, but I’m no Martha Stewart. “You’d be in jail if you were” she said, grinning.

So we ended our conversation (amicably, because she’s really nice) with neither of us really winning the debate. The only reason we didn’t keep talking is that our husbands and kids were pacing impatiently by the church entrance doors, ready and eager to go home. But I don’t think either of us was satisfied with the result of the conversation. I think the point she was trying to make was that I felt guilty about not fitting into the mold of a “stereotypical lady”, and I shouldn’t, because my talents define my femininity. My point is, my talents don’t define my “femaleness”, and I really don’t mind being a “tomboy”. Actually, I think it’s pretty funny, while some of the more “ladylike” behaviors are kind of silly in my opinion. It was my point to compare my “weird” behavior with others’ “silly” behavior and have a little humorous fun at my own expense. Apparently, it didn’t come out that way. So I apologize to everyone out there who thought I was being too hard on myself. I really wasn’t. I’m content with who I am. However, now you’ll understand why I snicker quietly when I hear a female say, “Did you watch ‘The View’ this week? They had the neatest new tips on how to apply your makeup to make you look younger!” and yet this person actually looks like a middle aged gal trying to disguise herself as a teenager. I think they’re silly. They think I’m weird.

And we’re both right.


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