WARNING TO GUYS: What follows is blatherskite about certain feminine health issues. I don’t think you’ll find it very interesting, and I’m not writing this for you, anyway. I’m writing this to get sympathy from my fellow females. Read it if you must, but remember: YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!!!
When Mom and Uncle Bob were here Saturday, we had sandwiches for lunch, and we put some of Carl’s homemade (machine made) bread out on the table. I told Uncle Bob that Carl makes the bread because, for some weird reason, I can’t get yeast to rise in bread. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t do it. Mom says its because I don’t get the water temperature right, but I don’t agree. I think I must have some chemical in my skin that seeps out through pores in my hands and that chemical kills the yeast. I mean, I can grow fungus just about anywhere: I have toadstool rings in my yard, and I can grow regular mold on already baked bread, but I can’t get yeast to grow. In bread, that is.
Which brings me to my next topic: the only place I can grow yeast, and it’s not pleasant. I wasn’t sure, but I thought I felt an itch growing in that place and I thought “Oh, it’s probably just irritation from wiping too hard or something” so I got some generic Vagisil to take care of it. But Sunday I woke up in real pain. I hurt. So on the way to church I picked up a package of Monistat 3, the kit that heals you in three days. I figured that would take care of my (in case you haven’t figured out what’s wrong) yeast infection. But I couldn’t sit for very long, so we left church early. I used the first tube when we got home, and laid in bed, waiting for it to take effect. That was at 10:30 am. Around 5 pm I was crying in pain, so Carl (bless his fuzzy little heart) went back to Wal-Mart and got the stronger stuff, Monistat 1. I used that, and it helped, a little. I was able to sleep through the night, and the next morning I used the second tube of M3 because the M1 hadn’t taken care of the problem. That made me think “Hey, if I use two tubes of M3 and a M1 and I’m still not better, I should call the doctor.” I did, and he gave me a prescription for generic Diflucan. I took one yesterday, and I’ll take the second one in about an hour. I hope this takes care of it. Last night, as a precaution, I used the last tube of M3 and it sent me into itchy pain spasms, so if this second dose doesn’t kill those rotten little yeastie beasties, I’ll have to call him back. So please, ladies (and those of you gentlemen who didn’t heed my warning) please pray for me, that this will heal without any more trouble.