Mondays Stink

The good news is, I made it home with the snowblower attachment. The unit is in relatively decent shape: the auger turns, the ejection chute turns, and the belt looks pretty new. That’s the good news.

The bad news is, it was Monday, cloudy, and I was driving to Minneapolis. Now, don’t get me wrong: I love to drive and go on adventures, so I didn’t mind driving to MN by myself. However, my stomach decided that yesterday was the day it was going to rebel, and it did. By the time I got to Eagan (a Minneapolis suburb) my gut was in a knot. Within 45 minutes, I must have hit the restroom three or four times. I pity the poor person who went in there next. And to top it off, I got into town a couple hours early, and in an attempt to kill time I may have gotten a traffic ticket. I’m not sure, but here’s what happened: I was driving down some street looking for a strip mall with a TJ Maxx and some other stores, but since I wasn’t finding it, I decided to turn around. I pulled into a left turn lane and stopped because there was oncoming traffic. And since the through lights were green, once the traffic passed I turned. BUT – this intersection had a turn arrow, and because I was thinking about finding my way back and also thinking in Iowa driving terms, the red arrow thingy didn’t register until I started turning and I thought I saw something blink in my right eye. When I got turned around and came back I saw something mounted on top of the signal pole that may have been a camera. I don’t know. I told all this to Carl who was very reassuring, but I’m expecting a letter from the City of Eagan, MN telling me that I owe them 30 bizillion dollars because I ran a red light, I’m from out of state and I live within an hour’s drive of the University of Iowa, key rival of the Minnesota Golden Gophers. Given the way things have been going recently, that would just be my luck.

Speaking of luck and Minnesota, there’s good news on the football front. Not my football front – Carl’s. Daunte Culpepper finally awoke from his trance and played a decent football game. Carl whupped the ever-lovin’ snot out of his opponent thanks to 33 points from the Vikings quarterback. That gives Carl a 2 – 1 record and makes him fourth in the league. I, on the other hand, took a serious beating from a previously winless team, so now I’m 1 – 2 and eighth in the league. I guess I coached Carl too well on the aspects of fantasy management. Of course, he’s been taking Management classes in school, which I’m sure somehow gives him an unfair advantage.

So now I’m trying to revamp my team. The problem is, some of my players are on a “can’t cut” list, and I don’t know why. These are turkeys who were supposed to be top-notch players but haven’t produced so much as a fart. I don’t know what I’m going to do, and this week I have to play the league leader, who’s 3 – 0. Yippee.

Ooogh. There goes my stomach again. Pass the Hepmo-Hepmo!

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