I’m not very happy right now, so I’m going to whine. If you don’t want to tolerate my whining, leave now. This is my blog and I’ll write what I want.
Sheesh – bossy today, ain’t I?
Anyway. I lost at fantasy football again, this time to Carl. It’s his first year, and I taught him everything he knows about playing the game. Apparently, I taught him too well. As an “award” for winning our game, I bought him a necktie with Daffy Duck, Bugs Bunny and Taz on it. Naturally, they’re playing football. He’s promised me he’ll wear it to church on Sunday.
But my main frustration right now is job hunting. I need (want?) a job I can do from home so that I’m here for my girls before and after school and besides, if I had an “office” job, what would I do with the girls during the summer when they’re not in school? I don’t want to give my paycheck to childcare – that’s the reason why I left the workforce when Hannah was born. And working evenings isn’t possible until Carl finishes school. So a work from home job is what I need. I know they’re out there – you hear about them on the TV news all the time. I just can’t seem to find them.
I suppose you’re wondering why I need a job in the first place. Well, the obvious answer is – we need money. We’re kind of in a hole right now, and we’re not making any progress in getting out of it. And I don’t need any financial advice: Carl handles the money and I have no clue when it comes to financial planning. (If you have advice, e-mail it to Carl.) What I need is for us to get less sick. We have decent insurance, but we still had alot of out-of-pocket expenses when Carl had his surgery. We haven’t gotten the bills yet for my colonoscopy/endoscopy visit, and today I need to take Mary to an optomitrist because her pediatrician thinks she may need glasses. And then to top it off, our pickup truck is “sick” with a nasty ping in the engine. So far Carl’s replaced four oxygen sensors and two ignition modules, but Red still pings. Carl has a knock sensor on special order that just came in to Auto Zone, so he’ll get that tonight and try to install it before he leaves for Wichita (business trip) but if that doesn’t fix it we’ll have to try something else. Meanwhile, the outflow of money is exceeding the inflow of money, and it’s stressing Carl out something awful. I hate to see Carl like this: spazzing out about every little expense, fretting and worrying when he should be exulting in his overwhelming fantasy football victory (he beat me by 20 points). That’s the main reason I want to go back to work: to ease the pressure on Carl, poor guy.
Now, I know what you’re thinking – she doesn’t have the right to whine. Her family has health insurance through Carl’s job, and there are people who have no insurance. She has a nice house. She has a good working vehicle. Her kids are healthy, and so’s her dog. She has no right to whine. You’re probably right. But just because we have health insurance doesn’t mean we don’t have expenses, and when you suddenly find yourself borrowing money to pay for things you didn’t know you had to pay for, it causes stress. I don’t like stress. Stress passes from one individual to the next like a virus, and then those affected get frustrated, and frustration leads to fights and arguments that really aren’t necessary. I’m trying to avoid that. I’m trying to find a way to relieve our financial stress, and the only sure way to do that is with a paycheck. You can’t relieve this kind of stress with chocolate.
More’s the pity.