I Can’t Believe This


For the past three nights, I’ve had insomnia. I think I’ve gotten maybe seven hours of sleep over the past three nights. And when I do sleep, it’s not quality sleep because I’m having anxiety nightmares. I spent the better part of today on the couch, asleep or resting, but now it’s 11:03 PM Central Time, and I Can’t Sleep!! AAAARRGGHH!!!

My anxiety nightmares have been really strange, too. On Tuesday night I didn’t see anything, but I kept hearing the words “oil painting” over and over. Now, I understand this dream. I’d just come from my first oil painting class in years, and I did an abysmal job on my landscape. My teacher wasn’t much help, and I was very frustrated. That I get. But Wednesday night and Thursday night were weird. Wednesday night, I dreamt that Carl and I were with a group of his friends that used to live in the area during the early 1990’s. They were going out, and they made it obvious that they wanted Carl to come along, but not me. They were all laughing at me, and Carl made no effort (in my dream) to defend me. Top off that bad dream with the constant thunderstorms we were having plus the fact that Boo-Boo hates storms so I had to sleep for a while with her, and you get a bad night.

So Thursday I thought “I’m tired, and I always fall asleep when I read, so I’ll read in bed.” However, idiot that I am, I chose absolutely the wrong book. I took Mary Higgins Clark’s new book Two Little Girls In Blue up to bed, and I was awake until 4 AM reading it. I almost finished it, too. (I ended up finishing the book at breakfast.) But when I finally fell asleep I dreamt that I was being attacked and mauled by an angry wolf. A big grey wolf, at that.

So tonight I’m here at the computer blogging, hoping that I’ll be tired enough to fall right asleep when I finally go to bed. I have to be in good condition in the morning because Boo-Boo has TWO soccer games tomorrow, and Carl will be gone all day at a seminar at our church. This is gonna be one dang long weekend.

I hope the weather is nice, at least.


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