Today a doctor told me that Mary, my baby, my angel, my precious little Boo-Boo has type 1 diabetes. It came as a complete shock. Right now I’m sitting in a darkened hospital room, with my laptop before me, typing words that I hardly believe. Type 1, “juvenile onset”, insulin dependent diabetes. I’m still overwhelmed by the harsh reality that’s all around me. Just when I thought things were getting better: Carl’s fever is down and Boo’s broken arm is on the mend, and pow. All of the sudden, diabetes.
At first I thought the symptoms were a urinary tract infection. Both Friday and Saturday nights Mary woke up in the middle of the night with wet undies. Last night (Sunday) she kept running back and forth to the bathroom, and she didn’t fall asleep until midnight. And then she woke up at ten minutes of five this morning, wet again. So we called the doctor, and I took her in. They tested her urine sample and told me that while she didn’t have any bacterial problems, the sugar level was elevated and they wanted to take a blood test for diabetes. Twenty minutes later they came in with the bombshell: her blood glucose was 523, and she had diabetes. Of course my first question was, “Are you sure? Could this be the result of having too much sugar at lunch?” No, not at levels that high. “Could this be a temporary problem caused by her broken arm?” No, her arm has nothing to do with it. Since the initial information, I’ve been cascaded with all kinds of data. Mostly I just nod and say, “Please tell me what to do next.” They tell me and I do it.
So here I sit, typing in the dark. Mary is (I hope) asleep: Carl and Hannah came in after supper and I went home to take a shower and gather the necessary clothes and toiletries needed for an extended hospital stay. Carl, bless his heart, couldn’t find Boo’s pajama pants, and it’s my fault he couldn’t. If I’d gotten the laundry folded he’d have had no trouble. (Sorry, honey.) But I came back with a bag full of clothes, etc., and Carl and Hannah went home for the night. Carl will be back tomorrow, and we’ll begin the process of learning how to handle Boo’s diabetes. Poor Carl – he just got over his fever, and now he’s going to miss more work. Fortunately his boss is an understanding, forgiving guy, and Carl’s been able to telecommute a little.
But in closing I have to say this – I know there are people who have it worse than me, but doggone it, I have two daughters, and both of them have diseases that will affect them for the rest of their lives. Hannah has autism, and Mary has diabetes, and it just seems like nature is conspiring against me. I’m sad, overwhelmed, and I fear for my babies’ futures. I don’t know what to do, and I wish it would all just go away.
Dammit, it just isn’t fair!