Earlier today, I sent an e-mail to my husband and brothers, lamenting the fact that Brett Favre has been traded to the Jets. I said that with little or no offensive line to speak of, sending Favre to the Jets is like sending the Marines into Baghdad clad in nothing but loincloths. Without proper pass protection, Favre will get massacred. I anticipate him ending his career on a stretcher, much like Joe Theismann of the Redskins did.
I also said that someone should write a parody of Elton John’s “Bennie and the Jets” and call it “Brettie and the Jets”. At that particular moment, I didn’t have time to dedicate to the task, but the idea festered in my mind all day. So, after work I pounded out the spoof below. It was difficult, because the song is so syncopated, but here goes:
Hey kids, huddle all together
The spotlight’s hitting someone
Who can play in frigid weather
We’ll start the football season soon
So stick around
You’re gonna hear the sound of tackles
Slamming to the ground
Yeah, Teddy and Mikey had to let him go
But they’re so screwed up, Brettie and the Jets
Oh but he’s wired and he’s wonderful
Oh Brettie is still wearing green
He’s got to make a move, and make it soon
You know he’s going to-a New-a Jersey
Brettie and the Jets
Hey kids, this seems kind of brainless
Should have stayed retired
But Brettie thinks he’s ageless
He shall survive, and he’ll try to take the Jets along
We’ll watch him play in Giants Stadium
And find if he was right or wrong
I wish I could get my hands on a karaoke version of the song and record it, and then maybe send it to a radio station or two. Who knows, it could become a short-term novelty hit! Or not. But speaking of short-term hits, Brett Favre will be one in New Jersey (New York, whatever) if he gets sacked alot. A quarterback is only as good as the line protecting him.
Good luck, Brett. You’re going to need it. I have a sneaking suspicion that by the end of October you’ll be wishing you’d stayed retired.